Today at our church, our pastor spoke about something that resonated with me.
When you were 12, did you picture the life you currently have, as the life you would be leading? When you first entered year 7 and had dreams…
How about when you were 15? When you were choosing your VCE/HSC subjects?
How about 17, when some of us had to make a very secure and hard choice about which university degree to pursue? When you were cramming and studying so hard you felt your brain exploding with information and questions of whether you were good enough…
Are you currently doing what you thought you would be doing, way back when?
And I can’t say that I am.
I am not an opera singer. I am not a singer/dancer travelling the world being famous. Then, I am also not the forensic CSI scientist that I felt I wanted to be when I applied for my science degree.
But what was planned for me, was this beautiful life, and it is such a beautiful life.
Because I wake up to 3 very cute and funny children, begging me to get out of bed, but surrounding me with cute cuddles and kisses, allowing my day to start with love and happiness.
I start my homeschool days slowly, and breakfast is slow, filled with conversations and serving one another at the breakfast table. We take our time, and enjoy each other.
Because prayer is not neglected in my walk through life. And I am able to share that prayer and spiritual life with my children.
Slow and steady learning takes place not just 6 hours a day and without me present, but WITH me beside the three children I care most about. Learning different things that interest them, but also guiding them through things that they may not know about, and sparking interest.
Watching, observing, learning and nurturing my children every single moment of the day, and seeing them grow… fulfils me more than I could possibly imagine.
I have a 6 year old who wants to be a scientist/explorer/discoverer/inventor/astronaut.
I have a 4 year old who wants to be on stage/singing/dancing/acting/talking.
And there’s my 2 year old who will probably win pizza eating competitions but also be a very compassionate person, and a comedy legend.
My life is filled with make believe space travel, make believe about mars/pirates/samurais and bow head whales, singing songs from Broadway musicals, Disney shows, learning Wiggles dance moves, dress ups and puppet shows. It is filled with craft and arts, reading, reading, reading and more reading. It is filled with sitting with my child and helping them through times when they may struggle through something like how to read a certain word.
This is not where I pictured myself 20 years ago.
But I am so happy that this was planned for me. And I am so happy to help my children through their lives, directly, personally and for every moment that they need me.
Because at 35, I have arrived, and I am very happy with where I am. There have been ups and downs. There have been extremely tough times and some really nice times. But to finally come to a time in my life where I am happy, settled and together… what a rare find.
But I don’t want my children to have to ‘arrive’ anywhere. I want them to be happy… right now. Every day. Every moment. And I want them to share in these moments with me, when they are beautiful little children and only need, crave and require me for a time…
Ultimately, what do I picture for my kids when they grow up?
A great career? Nice, but not quite.
Successful and fulfilling life? Again, nice…
But I want my children to know that they have a mum and dad that love them so much, that nothing in our lives is worth more to us… than them. And I am going to spend every moment of my waking day, making sure that they know I love, cherish and treasure them, in all their unique ways.
I want my children to know that there is a God that guides them through life, and that life isn’t always wonderful. But there is a God who will always be there to hold you as you pray, to listen to your prayers, and a God you can grow a connection with every single day.
I want their lives to be complete and whole… because they always knew that they were loved, respected and held to the highest ideal in every aspect of life, convenient or not, by the people and God that created them.