I am so glad the Sun has made an appearance. If you’re a Melbournite, you will have endured what seemed to be an endless cloudy and rainy season that is our winter. And how absolutely glorious to now bask in the warmth and gentle touch of the Sun, as it makes is lovely appearance.
But I am well aware that even on these sunny days, there are always dark times in our lives that inhibit our ability to smile.
Recently, due to journalists hounding my privacy due to a news story I witnessed, I shut down my Facebook page for a couple of weeks. At the time, I battled with the notion of not having my supposed lifeline to the outside world SHUT DOWN, but in order to get some peace from the constant contact and the public eye getting my private details, I shut it down.
And what an unexpected outcome. I felt free. Not initially. Initially I felt lost, empty and “what do I do now?”. I realised that the times I checked my phone were:
- First thing in the morning,
- When the children and their behaviour just got too much; and
- When I felt like I needed something for me.
It was then interesting to have a life without it. What turned out to be done due to media, has actually enhanced my life. Now, instead of looking at my phone, I:
- Embrace my smiles, and settle into the warmth that is God’s love for me, as he prepares me for the day through prayer,
- Address my children’s issues immediately, and hold them, as nothing else in my day could be more important than right now,
- Know that my life is enough for me, and I have everything I need, and
- What you see, hear, smell and feel affects you in every way.
There are more cuddles, there are more face to face conversations, there is more connected play time, there is nothing more important than them, when I am there, with them.
I understand that these are things we should just KNOW, and these are things that we should just DO, but I wasn’t doing them. I was doing them SOMETIMES, but I felt that my social media was giving me more joy in my day than the difficult times during my day. And they weren’t. For some unknown reason, I felt unhappier everytime I updated, checked and had a notification with my Facebook. But I was addicted, clearly. I needed people to like my posts, I needed people to see my beautiful life, but for what reason? For likes? Is that a good enough reason not to engage fully, 100%, with my world? Absolutely not.
So it has been shut off. And the only times I check it, is once, at night, for a given time of 10 mins. And then it’s off.
I’ve noticed that most, if not all, of the notifications on Facebook, aren’t actually for me either, which has annoyed me recently. They tell me what people are doing, where they are going, who I haven’t contacted in a while, what happened in my life a couple of years ago; things I really don’t actually need to know.
There is a level of depth to any relationship that grows and deepens more and more with connectivity, complete undivided attention and with unlimited patience.
I started homeschooling because I wanted more time with my children, to do what they wanted me to do with them, to connect. Now, I am connecting with them without the phone.
And it has been bliss.
I am still overweight, I am not exercising as much as I want to, but I am praying more, connecting with God more, connecting and giving to my husband more, and connecting with my children when they need me. It has been an undeniable success. And I will never go back, because I am simply very happy.